Vijay Varma Recalls Battling Depression, Credits Ira Khan For Helping Him: ‘I Was Unable To Move’

Vijay Varma Recalls Battling Depression, Credits Ira Khan For Helping Him: ‘I Was Unable To Move’

Bollywood actor Vijay Varma recently recalled that the lockdown was a challenging period for him. He was flooded with back-to-back projects after Gully Boy released in 2019, and felt like he was living the best version of himself. However, after the pandemic hit and the lockdown was announced, everything came to an abrupt halt for Vijay Varma. He recalled that it was a tough period when he felt very lonely, and Aamir Khan's daughter, Ira Khan, and his Dahaad co-star, Gulshan Devaiah, became his support system. He said that Ira suggested he should seek therapy, after which he was diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

Vijay Varma Opens Up On Battling Depression

In a conversation with Rhea Chakraborty, Vijay Varma recalled the lockdown period, and said, “I was all alone in an apartment in Mumbai. Luckily, I had a small terrace — I could see the sky, be with the elements. Otherwise, I would've gone mad. Actually, I did." He said that being all alone for months was very tough, and he felt extremely lonely and afraid. “And then one day, I realised — why can't I move from my couch for four days? What's going on?" recalled Vijay Varma.

Vijay Varma Reveals Ira Khan And Gulshan Devaiah Became His Support System

“At that time, Ira and Gulshan were like my little support system. Ira was assisting on Dahaad, and we had all become good friends during the shoot. We'd video call each other on Zoom, have dinners — that was our circle. But I kept deteriorating. Ira was the first to point out, ‘Vijay, I think you need to start moving a little,'" he said. He further revealed that Ira started doing Zoom workouts with him, and recognised something was off.

He further added, “Eventually, I spoke to a therapist because I was just unable to move. I met her on Zoom and was diagnosed with anxiety and depression — pretty severe at that time. She said, ‘If it's manageable, fine, otherwise we'll consider medication.' I said let me see.'" He said that he turned to therapy and yoga for healing. “Both brought everything to the surface. I'd get on my yoga mat, and by the third or fourth Surya Namaskar, I'd collapse, crying for hours without knowing why. It was deep depression, mixed with unattended emotions and unresolved guilt," he explained. He further added that one of the biggest emotional burdens was the guilt of leaving his home. “A part of me still regrets it. When you leave, your family misses you. I never made peace with that. I sometimes wonder if my decision, though right for me, was right for everyone else. You put yourself out there for ten years, away from family, to do what? But now, when I see the joy and pride they feel, it makes sense. Back then, it didn't," he said.

He further added that he is glad Ira Khan stepped in at the right time. “Ira was the one who said you need to start moving, Vijay. And she would put me on Zoom classes, and train me. Then she said, ‘Therapy is not bad. You should try therapy'," he said.

Vijay Varma On His Dysfunctional Family

He further opened up about growing up in a somewhat dysfunctional family, stating that it can have a lasting impact on a child's mind. “I feel that I have a lot of bad memories I have forgotten. If you ask about my childhood, I won't remember them. But my subconscious mind remembers them. It shows up in the quiet, alone. The more you talk about it, go out and seek help, the sooner you will come out of that pattern," he said.

Source: News18
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