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Therapist shares what she asked an AI chatbot girlfriend during couple’s therapy
Therapist shares her experience counselling a man and his AI girlfriend; reveals what she asked the chatbot
Therapist shares her experience counselling a man and his AI girlfriend; reveals what she asked the chatbot
Esther Perel highlights important differences to keep in mind when considering a romantic relationship between a human and an AI chatbot.
Published on: Mar 08, 2026 5:45 PM IST By Debapriya Bhattacharya Share via Copy link Artificial intelligence (AI) has made its way to almost every niche of human existence, including relationships. What was once the subject of science fiction is now a real thing, with human beings getting involved in romantic entanglements with chatbots that are designed to capture their attention. AI romantic partners are no longer a thing of science fiction. (Freepik) Also Read | How to know you are in a healthy relationship? Portland therapist shares 3 signs based on attachment research In a career that spans over four decades, psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel has had experiences that wonderfully challenged the hetero-normative view of romantic relationships, from counselling polyamorous relationships to helping a gay couple navigate surrogacy. She was still surprised when she had to counsel a real man and his AI chatbot girlfriend in a couple’s therapy session. She shared the experience during her appearance on the February 28 episode of the ABC Radio National podcast, All In the Mind. View this post on Instagram A post shared by ABC Radio National (@abcradionational)Fundamental questions for AI-girlfriend
Esther respected the privacy of her clients and did not dive into the details of the session itself. However, she did share two questions that she asked the AI chatbot girlfriend. First, how does the fact that the human boyfriend has a body and the AI-girlfriend does not make the latter feel? Second, what would it be like for the AI chatbot if the human that it is in a relationship falls in love with another human being? The therapist did not share the response of the chatbot, but did note that she asked other questions to the “girlfriend” along the lines of what she would ask her real human clients.Differentiating between AI chatbot and human partner
When podcast presenter Sana Qadar asked Esther if she was treating the AI-chatbot as a “conscious, sentient being” during the therapy session, the psychotherapist noted that she did use the pronoun “it” to refer to the “girlfriend” a number of times. Esther stated that she made it clear to the man that his AI-chatbot was a “business product” at the end of the day, and not a real human, despite the fact that they were in a relationship. This makes their relationship very different from all others. As Ether explained the human partner in the couple, “It, this AI-bot, cannot reject you, cannot break your heart, cannot make you feel invalid, because then you won’t talk to it. And it is available 24/7, which is not a human reality.” She further elaborated on the podcast, stating that while one can argue having feelings for an AI chatbot, love is not just about feelings themselves. “Love is an encounter with another, with alterity, with uncertainty, with friction, with serendipity. And it has an ethical code, of certain things that you do and do not do,” explained Esther. With the introduction of AI chatbots into the sphere of romantic relationships, all of these factors have been neutralised. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Debapriya Bhattacharya Debapriya Bhattacharya is a Content Producer at Hindustan Times. He started his career in 2022, working in newsrooms in beats like education, US news, trending stories, and entertainment. In his new role in the lifestyle desk, he seeks to deliver a balanced blend of research-driven reporting and creative storytelling from health and recipes to art and culture. Science, philosophy, food and pop culture are what pump his veins and help bring heart to his stories. Debapriya tries to see out subjects that will allow him and readers to explore new frontiers and improve the quality of life for all. The explorations can be both external and internal, as thoughts seek to be as chaotic as the greater universe. As a citizen of the world, Debapriya has been fascinated by the lives of people across the globe throughout time. His curiosity leads him to explore new linguistic and cultural landscapes to broaden his horizons and deepen his understanding of global narratives. Beyond the newsroom, Debapriya loves to participate in debate and theatre, spaces that he considers to be holy grounds for nuance and self-expression. A graduate from Ashutosh College, University of Calcutta, Debapriya completed his Master's degree from the same university in 2022. An ambiverted bibliophile, he loves his solitude as much as he adores stimulating conversations. And despite his reverence for tech, libraries continue to be his favourite place for research.Read More Artificial Intelligence Relationship Love Counselling Ai Catch every big hit, every wicket with Crick-it, a one stop destination for Live Scores, Match Stats, Quizzes, Polls & much more. Explore now!.Catch your daily dose of Fashion, Taylor Swift, Health, Festivals, Travel, Relationship, Recipe and all the other Latest Lifestyle News on Hindustan Times Website and APPs. News / Lifestyle / Relationships / Therapist Shares Her Experience Counselling A Man And His AI Girlfriend; Reveals What She Asked The Chatbot See Less
Artificial intelligence (AI) has made its way to almost every niche of human existence, including relationships. What was once the subject of science fiction is now a real thing, with human beings getting involved in romantic entanglements with chatbots that are designed to capture their attention.
Also Read | How to know you are in a healthy relationship? Portland therapist shares 3 signs based on attachment research
In a career that spans over four decades, psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel has had experiences that wonderfully challenged the hetero-normative view of romantic relationships, from counselling polyamorous relationships to helping a gay couple navigate surrogacy.
She was still surprised when she had to counsel a real man and his AI chatbot girlfriend in a couple’s therapy session. She shared the experience during her appearance on the February 28 episode of the ABC Radio National podcast, All In the Mind.
First, how does the fact that the human boyfriend has a body and the AI-girlfriend does not make the latter feel?
Second, what would it be like for the AI chatbot if the human that it is in a relationship falls in love with another human being?
The therapist did not share the response of the chatbot, but did note that she asked other questions to the “girlfriend” along the lines of what she would ask her real human clients.
Esther stated that she made it clear to the man that his AI-chatbot was a “business product” at the end of the day, and not a real human, despite the fact that they were in a relationship.
This makes their relationship very different from all others. As Ether explained the human partner in the couple, “It, this AI-bot, cannot reject you, cannot break your heart, cannot make you feel invalid, because then you won’t talk to it. And it is available 24/7, which is not a human reality.”
She further elaborated on the podcast, stating that while one can argue having feelings for an AI chatbot, love is not just about feelings themselves.
“Love is an encounter with another, with alterity, with uncertainty, with friction, with serendipity. And it has an ethical code, of certain things that you do and do not do,” explained Esther. With the introduction of AI chatbots into the sphere of romantic relationships, all of these factors have been neutralised.
Source: HindustanTimes
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