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Isn’t It Weird
‘Isn’t It Weird’: Dutch Woman Says Motherhood Made Her Choose Bengaluru Over Her Dream City Mumbai
For years, Mumbai was the city a Dutch travel influencer dreamed of calling home. But after finally moving there, she says becoming a mother changed everything.
Ivana, a Dutch content creator who has lived in India for nearly nine years, recently opened up about why Mumbai no longer felt like the perfect place for her.
In an Instagram video, she shared that while the city had always been her dream, the timing of the move made it difficult to enjoy. “Isn’t it weird how motherhood can turn certain dreams into a nightmare? For years, Mumbai was my ultimate dream city. But the day I actually moved here, I just wanted to go straight back to Bangalore," she said.
She explained that Bengaluru had become home over the years because of its slower pace and greener surroundings. “It was slow, it was green, and it allowed me to grow in a way I felt safe," she said. But according to her, Mumbai felt completely different once she entered motherhood.
Motherhood Changed Everything
Ivana said the city’s fast pace, which she once admired, suddenly became overwhelming. “Mumbai doesn’t do slow. The very same fast pace that the young explorer in me used to crave suddenly felt like constant panic mode. I was stepping into motherhood, craving a soft, slow life, and instead, I was slapped in the face with the Mumbai heat and a relentless hustler mentality," she said.
The move also came during a difficult phase in her pregnancy. She revealed that she was dealing with placenta bleeding and severe anaemia while trying to settle into a much smaller apartment.
“I went from a massive, breezy home in Bangalore to a tiny apartment that felt suffocating. And instead of exploring my dream city, I was dealing with a placenta bleeding and severe anaemia. I had zero energy to step out, zero capacity to make new friends, and the isolation was terrifying," she said.
She added, “I felt so ashamed to admit I didn’t love the dream I fought for."
She Spoke About The Guilt
In the caption of her post, Ivana said Bengaluru had given her “a slow, green, spacious routine that felt like a warm blanket," while Mumbai’s pace felt too intense during that stage of her life. She also admitted that she felt guilty for not enjoying something she had wanted for so long.
“I think as women, we can have this immense guilt when we don’t immediately bloom where we are planted. We feel like we aren’t allowed to look at a dream we actively chased and say, ‘I don’t think I want this right now," she wrote.
She said she spent a long time convincing herself that she should be happy because moving to Mumbai had been her goal. “It was very hard for me to not feel ungrateful. So for the longest time I denied my own feelings, because ‘this was the dream right?’ Well, who’s ever gotten away with that before running into a big wall of despair?" she wrote.
A post shared by IVANA • Travel • lifestyle • 🇮🇳• 🇳🇱• 🧿 (@ivanaperkovicofficial)
She Says Timing Matters Too
Looking back, Ivana said the experience taught her that a place can be wonderful but still not suit a particular phase of life. “The truth is, a place can be incredible and it can still be the absolutely wrong place for the version of you that exists right now," she said in the video.
She also revealed that during the same period, she and her partner had to legally get married, adding another major life event to an already emotionally and physically demanding time.
Bengaluru offers new mothers a "slow, green, spacious routine" that feels like a "warm blanket," contrasting with the overwhelming pace of Mumbai. While Mumbai was once a dream city, motherhood made its fast pace feel too intense for one Dutch influencer.
Personal life changes, such as becoming a mother, can influence city choices, leading individuals to prefer a slower pace of life over a previously desired dream city.
Source: News18
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