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Indian woman in US says husband is fighting her over not posting their pics
A woman's Reddit post is gaining hundreds of comments after she revealed that a fight with her husband over not posting their photo on Instagram spiraled into a series of emotional outbursts and hurtful accusations.
The 30-year-old woman, who described herself as an attorney living in the US, posted on subreddit Inside Indian Marriage. She shared that she had been married for only six months after a brief courtship through a matrimonial website.
In her post, she said the marriage had been “unstable from the beginning,” and things worsened when her husband accused her of lying because she had not uploaded a couple's picture. “I often post on stories, but I have been waiting to post a proper picture because our marriage is only registered on paper abroad and we have not had any ceremonies yet. I wanted to wait for a good picture,” she explained.
The disagreement quickly escalated. “He picked a fight over it, called me a liar, and said really hurtful things to me,” she wrote. The woman said her husband's temper often resulted in verbal cruelty. “When he is angry, he becomes extremely cruel in the way he speaks. The moment I try to explain myself, he accuses me of ‘talking back' or ‘disrespecting' him.” He even calls her 'badtameez (ill-mannered)'.
She added that the fight turned even more painful when her husband insulted her career. “Tumhara toh koi career nahi hai (you do not have a career),” he allegedly said, followed by “Tumhare office mein kisi ko bhi mooh utha ke le lete hain (they hire anyone in your office).” The woman, who works as an attorney, said, “Hearing that from my husband was extremely painful.”
According to her post, the pattern of emotional distress has been ongoing, with her husband accusing her of being materialistic or disrespectful whenever she tried to defend herself. "He has also said things like, ‘Tumhe bas mujhse paise chahiye (you just want my money)' (mind you – I come from an upper middle class family in India and do not want any money from him) and “Yahan sab kuch plate mein mil raha hai isliye tumhara dimaag kharab ho rha hai (you are acting so haughty because you are getting everything served on a platter).”
She also alleged that his mother dismissed her concerns, saying she had “triggered him” instead of acknowledging the behavior.
“Every time I bring up separation, he turns it around and says I am not committed,” the woman wrote. “If I even mention divorce, I am suddenly the one destroying the relationship.” She said her husband now uses her mention of divorce “against” her, asking why she hasn't gone through with it.
At the end of her message, she asked Reddit for help. “We have not spoken in two weeks. I feel emotionally drained and constantly blamed. It has reached a point where I do not even recognise myself anymore. I am scared that I will not find love again and that I should just accept my fate. I am tired of living like this and do not know what to do next. I would really appreciate some honest advice from people who have been through similar situations or can help me see this more clearly.”
The post has sparked a discussion on Reddit about emotional abuse, manipulation, and the pressures of performative relationships on social media. Many users expressed support for the woman, urging her to prioritize her safety and mental health.
“Sorry girl. This is not normal. For a successful marriage you need Love + Respect. Love sometimes fades away, but mutual Respect will carry the day. He does not seem to respect you. Narcissists like him tend to tear people down. Unless this is a stressful phase in his life, I would say run,” read a comment.
Another person inspired her to take the leap: “Look baby girl, I had an Indian arranged marriage in the US and I couldn't be in it for more than a few months. I am a very very emotional person and I had the same fears you had - i.e. I have to live lonely and single now. The divorce was the hardest thing I had to do in my life. Luckily I had my own visa and was not a dependent. 7 years after that now, I am happily married again to the man of my dreams! In the process I discovered myself. I traveled all around the country by myself and I even bought a home before I met my man. You can do this. Get out of this guy. Run as far as you can. Also looks like you got legally married in the US. And you have options to get an annulment.”
One person suggested that divorce is the way to go. "Girl, he is abusive. Period.... People like him do not change... You are young and financially independent, so why are you even putting up with this? And sure, now some will say, "Typical Reddit user, always suggesting divorce without knowing the full story," blah blah blah. But seriously, JUST LEAVE ... before you end up having a child with him. You do not need his permission to file for divorce..."
The woman also replied to a comment suggesting divorce, saying that she fears she won't find love again. A person replied, “You think is this love? If you want to continue the relationship just for the sake of it then yeah ok. You are just 30, it's definitely not late.”
Do you also agree with Reddit?
Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional relationship advice. It is based on user-generated content from social media. HT.com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.
Source: HindustanTimes
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